you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
