She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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