Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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