After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
