Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
