And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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