My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
