Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
