mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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