Who wears a wallet chain?!
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
