i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
