I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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