Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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