I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
