I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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