Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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