My brain says no but my pants say off.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
