"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
