you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
