So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
