How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
