I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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