There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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