dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
