If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
