I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
