everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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