wake up i wanna do it froggy style
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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