On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
