sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
