The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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