So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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