Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
