Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
