I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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