drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I am one with the molecules
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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