it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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