i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
false alarm, still single
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