??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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