reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
