can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
