Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
