ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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