her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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