soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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