Barsexuality is the new black.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
