Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
