Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
