You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
