I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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