My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
