I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
