waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
this just has baby written all over it
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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