yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
