I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
