glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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