thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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