The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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