I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
